turkeys

Turkeys do not look like this







They look like THIS!


what the hell IS that??
i mean, LOOK at it. it doesn't have a beak.
i'll try and make it bigger. one sec.





bad quality. whatever.
it's brain is OUTSIDE it's skull!
so what happened that we started eating these? did one just pop out of a bush one day and a pilgrem (we'll call him stephanie) said, "HOLY CRAP! my EYES! ugh... mmm looks tasty."
he brought it back to the camp, and a guy said, "hey steph, look out! there's a mangled dog next to you! ... and it's feathery... what is that?"
"no no... we're gonna EAT it."
"gobble gobble"
"AAH"
"what did it say?"
"it said SHOOT ME NOW!"
"gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble"
"AH. get the indians."

who grows up as a normal child, goes to school, graduates, and when asked what he's gonna DO with his life, he says, "i'm gonna grow TURKEYS, and supply everyone with turkey dinners. i wanna feed 'em, and take care of 'em, and pet 'em, and then KILL THEM!!"
yeah i'd wanna kill em too. but i couldn't spend my life with them. "nope. nope. I'M not goin' outside. i ain't lookin at those UGLY B**TARDS no more!"
--WHY, does it's head LOOK like that? with it's evil eye. turkeys are evil.

here are some more turkeys. "here pretty bird. prettybird prettybird."